Parents’ Corner: How Did Our Parents Make It Look So Easy?

By Charles Water

This Week’s Question: Why Should Parents Avoid Thinking Out Loud?

It’s a question worth exploring: Why did parenting seem so effortless for the generation before us? One possible answer lies in how they managed their emotions—especially in front of their kids.

This week, we’re diving into an often-overlooked parenting habit: thinking out loud. While it’s natural to verbalize frustrations or worries, doing so frequently around children can unintentionally shape their emotional world. Here’s why it matters—and what to do instead:

1. Modeling Emotional Regulation

When parents voice their unfiltered worries or doubts, kids absorb more than we realize. A child might interpret those moments as signs of insecurity or instability. By regulating our emotions and demonstrating calm problem-solving, we show our children how to manage stress with composure.

2. Creating a Positive Atmosphere

Children thrive in environments that feel stable and encouraging. Repeated expressions of worry can contribute to a climate of tension. Instead, maintaining a tone of optimism and reassurance helps children build emotional resilience.

3. Encouraging Problem-Solving Skills

Rather than voicing anxiety—like “I don’t know how we’re going to juggle all these schedules”—try reframing it: “Let’s figure out a plan to make sure everyone gets where they need to be.” This not only reassures your child but invites them to think collaboratively and creatively.

4. Cultivating a Sense of Security

Children don’t need to shoulder adult concerns. When we talk openly about financial stress, relationship issues, or uncertainty about the future, kids can begin to worry about their own safety. Keeping adult matters appropriately private helps protect their emotional well-being and builds trust.

5. Fostering Independent Thinking

When parents constantly voice doubt or indecision, children may adopt those worries instead of developing their own confident viewpoints. By staying calm and centered, we give our kids the space to form opinions and navigate challenges with clarity.

The Takeaway

Parenting comes with its fair share of stress—but how we handle that stress in front of our children makes a difference. Choosing to pause, reflect, and reframe instead of thinking out loud helps cultivate a calm, confident atmosphere where children can grow, thrive, and feel secure.

Join the Conversation
How do you manage your emotions as a parent? Do you have strategies for creating a steady and positive home environment? Share your experiences—we’d love to hear from you and continue building a supportive parenting community.